Radio diary

Running diary of listening to Clear Channel's Kiss 103.5, Chicago online.

7:26pm - "Behind These Hazel Eyes" - Kelly Clarkson. How about that Kelly Clarkson? Won a talent contest, never, ever wrote any of her own songs, and for some reason is commonly considered credible. Maybe because she hasn't shown lots of skin. What a novel idea.

7:29 - Promo for some sort of Kiss phone card, followed by a stopset. On one of the paid spots, Jay-Z's "Dirt Off Your Shoulder" was used. Wonder if he knows.

7:33 - "Shake It Off" - Mariah Carey. Eh.

7:36 - The night jock is popping p's big-time, followed by "Wake Me When September Ends" by Green Day. Stop eating the mic, dicksmack.

7:40 - Sweeper with Ryan Cabrera and Ricky Martin (!?!) blurting "Kiss 103.5", followed by "Let Me Hold You" by Bow Wow and Omarion. Let us pray.

7:43 - More of the the night jock eating mic. "Mac" is his name, apparently. Now playing the tired "Letters, we get letters" song, and reading one from Adam from Naperville. The letter consisisted of some guy impregnating someone he met at a bar. Now he's asking some knucklehead interns for advice, and yucking it up.

7:47 - Stopset. Holy crap! They yammered for four minutes?

7:50 - "Belly Dancer" by Akon. Seems like a good time to urinate.

7:52 - This Akon song is kinda funky. It's no "Lonely", which earlier this year notched itself in my Top 5 of 2005.

7:53 - Mac just said "Chi-town". Nice going dude, you just exposed the fact you're not from there. Now it's something called "We're Goin' Down" by Fall Out Boy. Belch.

7:57 - Time for the Interactive 8 at 8. For some reason, Mic Eater refers back to Adam again, takes a useless call, and plays the latest Kanye. Get down girl, go 'head, get down.

8:01 - Mac's still talking about Adam's "baby mama situation". Yeah, we give a shit. Number 7 is "Beverly Hills" by Weezer. Yours truly will be mashing-up this song with "Undone (The Sweater Song)" sometime soon.

8:04 - "Your Body" by Pretty Ricky. Wow, this is an awful tune.

8:07 - Another call about Adam's pointless situation. The female on the phone said she should punch her in the overies. Har-har, we've all seen "Anchorman". Number 6 is "Listen To Your Heart" by whoever it is. I was talking about this song with somebody the other day: why this song? Why would you remake this song, and why is it a smash now? I had this same conversation when "Heaven" by DJ Sammy was a hit.

8:12 - I think I missed a song. You'll have that. It's the new Sean Paul at Number 4, which is a poor remake of "Get Busy", just faster and not nearly as interesting.

8:15 - Number 3 is "Lose Control" by Missy Elliot. Don't get me wrong, I respect Missy. "The Rain", "She's A Bitch", "Get Ur Freak On", and "Work It" are brilliant. But according to what I've read, she's parted ways with Timbaland, and it shows. Sure hope Kraftwerk is getting royalties from this horseshit.

8:19 - What the fuck? Frankie J. remaking Extreme, but without the harmony? That's it, I quit.